Setting the Table

Setting the table can be a very simple affair, or a very complicated one. Basic rules are the plate goes in the center of the place setting, the forks to the left, spoon and knife on the right. Similarly the bread plate (if you have one) goes on the bottom left of the setting, and the drinks go to the top right. That is really all there is to it. If you are wondering why the longest article on the site is following, that’s because those are the nuances added on for formal place settings. If you will never host a formal dinner, then you now know everything you need to know. if you want to blow people out of the water though: keep reading…

The first thing to go on any table is obviously the table cloth. It is also perfectly acceptable to use place settings, though I generally avoid them as they are always a little uneven. The table cloth or place mats can be any color you so choose (though they can look tacky) but remember the more formal the occasion the simpler the pattern should be. Also remember that you should generally avoid artificial fabrics with few exceptions (I have used spandex table clothes, and it was exactly as sexy as it sounds.) Also remember that your napkins should generally pair with the table cloth. The last option I have seen as of late is to have nothing. While I don’t recommend it on a wood table (table clothes do protect tables) or an ugly table, it can look good on a glass table with a particularly pretty base.

Once the table cloth is on, everything starts with the charger. The charger is either a diner plate on top of which the appetizer plates sit, which is swapped for the actual dinner plate when the entrée comes, or it is an over large dinner plate on which everything is set. Either one is fine. As the charger is the anchor point for every place setting, putting the chargers all in the right place is the first step. I place my first charger in the center, and measure each one out from there. Chargers are measured from the center of one to the center of the charger next to it. They should measure at least 24, and at most 30 inches from the center of one, to the center of the charger next to it (you’ll adjust based on the size of the table and the number of guests). If someone cannot fit at the table with the mandatory 24 inches distance, then he cannot fit at the table. Similarly, a table with someone at the head should be about 30 inches wide, and have 12 inches of depth remaining for the head. This is of course all with a rectangular table. While the picture to the left is of a round table, they are actually surprisingly hard to set due to their irregularity. I won’t go into too much detail on them because I have yet to set a round table with more than 4 people that did not require I re-derive everything (with little success).

The rest of the china does not get set, as it will be plated outside the room, and placed on the charger during the meal. The flatware however, is all placed down at the beginning of the meal, and is the most complicated part.

A few rules on flatware should guide one well. The first thing to do is to determine what flatware is necessary for each course (see my full course meal guide to see what I recommend in general). As far as the placement of each piece is concerned, the butter spreader (a small knife) should be placed on the bread plate from the start. Second is the dessert spoon and fork, which are placed one inch above the charger exactly. The fork is on the bottom with its prongs facing right, and the spoon on top facing opposite. The teaspoon is set from the beginning, on the coffee cup’s saucer.

When placing the rest of the flatware, remember work from the inside out when setting (So the guests can work from the outside in when eating). Starting with the pieces for the last course (not including the pieces set elsewhere), one places the edge of the inner most pieces one inch from the furthest edge of the plate, then gives one inch from the center of the inner most piece to the center of the piece next to it, and an inch from that piece’s center to the next piece and so on. forks on the left, and knives and spoons on the right. though the table should be set for them to eat from the outside in, that does not mean there will be a piece on the left for every piece on the right, or visa versa. Finally, once the pieces are all set, one should take a ruler and move the inner most fork to exactly an inch from the edge of the table, then take its long edge and push all the others forward until they are exactly even.

Once the flatware is set, it is time for the wine glasses. On the table at all times there should be a water glass, a white glass, a red glass, and the glasses that will be used for the coffee, dessert wine, and champagne. (if there is champagne) the coffee cup should be at the top of the place setting out of the way, as it comes last, along with the dessert wine glass. The other glasses should be placed along the top right. The water glass should be furthest left, the white furthest right, and the red between them (as it is the last one takes) the glasses should always remain on the table, though if the wine changes, for instance, two types of white wine, one should have the glasses swapped out. There have been traditions in the past of having a dozen glasses per setting because there were a dozen wines, however, you will be nothing short of amazed at how busy a table can look.

The napkin should be placed either on the plate, or beside the setting as a whole. It should NEVER be placed under anything. Doing so will immediately ruin all of the measurements you have worked so hard to make so exact. There are various folds that look good, but I have taken however to putting a fork at the center of the napkin and spinning until it looks like a rose and fits inside the coffee cup as I am not good at folding and do not like the clutter that comes with napkin rings. (Not to mention that napkins pulled through a ring always look rather phallic).

The place card and the menu should go above the dessert spoon (Left out of the diagram above because it looked more confusing in the image). The menu is often placed on the plate, that one may see, but space should be made for it elsewhere on the table. If wanting for space I have taken to printing the menu on the underside of the place card.

Finally, the chairs should be centered on the plates, then the backs should be brought out exactly six inches from the table.

As a side note, all of this is based on a right-handed person. In the olden days, it was common to break people’s hands if they used their left, now we should be more open to the idea. If you know someone is left handed, it is a nice touch to reverse his place settings. You may also put it on your invitations as an option in order to do this.

When decorating your table: my one piece of advice is to avoid any tall centerpieces, as they look very pretty until you attempt to converse with someone across from you.

Seating Chart

            In a casual dinner, seating is irrelevant, but in a more formal dinner, one does not choose his own seat, he sits where assigned. The rules for this are quite simple, but very important. It is a common misconception that the host and hostess sit at the heads of the table. This misconception is perpetuated by bad movies obsession with seating a dinner for two at two heads of a massive table, even though it makes no sense. In reality, the host and hostess sit at the center of the table. The host sits on the right, and the hostess on his left. (if you are only one, no worries, you just occupy the center.) the guest of honor is either the man sitting to the hostesses left, or the woman sitting to the hosts right. From there it alternates out in descending order of rank. (not that rank much matters to us in the US. The only other two considerations are that, where possible, the sexes of the guests should alternate (if someone is transgender, just treat them as they ask for the sake of ease), and couples should never sit together (with the exception of host and hostess).