Hosting        

            When attending an event, one’s only job is to show up, be polite, and have fun. When hosting, one’s job is to blow everyone away. A person could easily write a whole book on how to host the perfect party.

            One should remember that how he hosts is totally up to him. Ultimately a dinner is an experience, and all kinds of experiences are good. The first thing to choose is what kind of experience one wants to create. Beer and burgers can be as memorable as a full-course meal. In fact, I have made a habit of once a month inviting a dozen people to a casual dinner of beer, and fish and chips while listening to someone give an hour long talk on his field of study. While the idea is simple, it has taken as much thought to create as any seemingly big event.

Your Lead

            The rule for attending a party is to follow the host’s lead. At your party, you set the lead. You should always be the last served, but you give everyone permission to eat each course with your first bite. You give people permission to drink a new wine with your first sip (not to be drunk until the whole course is brought). You should be the first to take each bite, and the last to finish. You are the person people will turn to when they are confused.

Invitations

            You can always invite people with a simple text or email. I find it a nice touch for something this formal to send one physically, either in the mail, or in person if you are to see someone in time. Similarly an invitation should tell people everything they need to know to attend a party like when to arrive and the attire (I also put a qr code on mine that will take their phone to my page on rules for different attires so no one shows up to a black tie event thinking it just means a black tie.) Also remember that while the delivery mechanism can be low tech, the card itself doesn’t have to be. I put a QR code on mine that takes my guests to an RSVP page where they can fill in not only attendance, but dietary restrictions or any other notes I should have (it increased responses by 300% to large parties.)

the final thing to remember is your invitation is the first indication of the type of party. without reinventing the wheel, it should reflect that. for instance when I do a black tie dinner, I use gilded lettering. When I do my monthly in house lecture dinner I generate the feel of being invited to a secret meeting by using black invitations.

Attire

            One can set whatever attire he wants. Do not be shy about setting the attire either. if you are hosting it is your prerogative to set the attire, though you should be considerate. don’t make people buy things, but if you are going to put in the work to put together a full course meal, do not be affraid to ask for black tie, but don’t feel obligated to either. Although, it is important to note that few people actually have tuxedos in the modern era, so if you want people to wear them, I recommend setting the invitation as “black tie requested” (only in the event that you yourself actually wear black tie) as it signals that it is a formal evening, and gives people permission to show up in a suit if they have not a tuxedo. (I also put “tiaras welcome” on my invitation. Not that any woman I know has ever worn one.)